Who is Phycus Malloy?


Phycus Malloy is a small part of a greater being. What that being is greater than has yet to be determined.

Suffice it to say that he is an amalgom of egos.

Impossibly, genetic material from a menagerie of characters such as Syndrome (Mr. Incredible's nemesis), the Snow Miser (from the old animated Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV specials), Grumpy Cat, and a manatee have been combined in a synergistic ball of explosive diarrhea and testosterone to create the wily wit of one Phycus Malloy.

In his own words:

A little about me? For starters I rode a scooter, have road rash. I wear women's undergarments (when I wear undergarments at all), drive fast, talk faster, love pizza, Mini Coopers and motorcycles of all shapes and sizes. I love sex, chocolate and rock and roll. Oh you want a history lesson, eh? Well, before comedy I had attempted other means of employment. Tried to open a chain of laundromats, failed. Tried to be a salesman, bought everything I was trying to sell. Started a charity drive to get better housing for Sea Monkeys....That actually worked out.

I have high hair, high hopes and a desire to meet and have coffee with Gary Busey, Bill Murray, and the remaining members of The New Revolution. If you see me in person, I'm scary. You see me in pictures, I'm fat. You see me on stage, I'm naked. If you think I am the offspring of Drew Carey and Jack Black, you may be right, my dad and I look nothing alike.

If you enjoy Stand-UP Comedy that covers everything from childbirth and regret to sex and Play-Doh, I am your man of action. Come with me and I will show you a world that you have only passed by on your way to the local grocery store.

I want to thank all of my fans, both friends and family for supporting me. Without you all, I would be a hollow shell of a chubby man who would probably spend the better part of his life trying to record a grunge version of Unchained Melody.

-Phycus Malloy